


Sniclets

by NortheasternWind



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Family, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2020-11-23 09:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20889842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NortheasternWind/pseuds/NortheasternWind
Summary: 100-500 word ficlets about the snake children, because sometimes I can't string an idea out for long enough to make it into a proper oneshot. This time: wow it's azirafather but i'm sneepy.





	1. Table of Contents

**Author's Note:**

> If you can take any of these and write them PLEASE DO. DON'T BOTHER ASKING MY PERMISSION. I WRITE WHAT I WANT TO READ
> 
> I would love for this to be long enough to actually require a table of contents, fff. I'll add one just to be safe. ASSUME THE DISCORD SERVER HELPED WITH ALL OF THESE, I LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOOUUUUU

1\. Table of Contents

2\. Eve Sleeping In Aziraphale's Hand

3\. Frosting On Snoots

4\. On Eyelids

5\. QTs

6\. The Fall

7\. Adventures In Object Permanence

8\. Wow It's Azirafather But I'm Sneepy


	2. Eve Sleeping In Aziraphale's Hand

Whether it’s luck or father’s intuition, Aziraphale always seems to look up at just the right moment.

Crowley is asleep on the couch and the children have been put to bed already, but Aziraphale looks up from his book just to admire them and spies one lone snakelet sitting forlornly by herself in the habitat.

Aziraphale quietly sets down his book and rises, silently making his way to the habitat. It’s Eve, her head swiveling to watch him, eyes always so wide.

“Hello, my darling Eve,” he whispers, opening the hatch and fishing her out. She slithers into his hand and wraps herself around his thumb, leaning her tiny head against it. “Bad dream? Or simply lonely?”

Eve slides off his thumb and into his palm, laying her head down. She is so unlike her namesake— needy and clingy and unsure, but that’s okay. They hadn’t meant for her to embody the spirit of Eve; only to bear her name, in her honor. The rest is up to her.

Aziraphale smiles, cupping his hands around her. “I’ll be here, darling. Goodnight.”


	3. Frosting On Snoots

“Uh, angel?”

Aziraphale looks up from where his chin rests on his hands. “Oh, Crowley! Welcome home!”

“Hngk,” Crowley sputters: he hasn’t quite finished moving in yet, owing mostly to the fact that he still isn’t used to him and Aziraphale being an item. A couple. Involved. He’s spent so long pouring his heart out and receiving friendship in return that sometimes Aziraphale will say “welcome home” and it’ll all be just a little… much.

He’ll get over it, happily. He just needs a moment to remind himself that this is happiness, and it could be his, if he let it.

So he hastily changes the subject: “What did you do?”

The children are spread out on the table before him, noses in the air, tongues flicking out with a distinct air of frustration. Eve inches toward Crowley, and he spies a little white dollop of… something on her snout.

_Father_, she whines. _I can’t reach…_

“I put a bit of frosting on their noses,” Aziraphale says, smiling fondly. “Just trying to be silly, you know. But it looks like their little tongues aren’t long enough to reach.”

_Fatherrrr_, Eve whines again.

Crowley bites his lip to keep from laughing, which he suspects his children wouldn’t appreciate. Their tongues are long enough, sure, but they don’t seem to have the dexterity to make much use of them yet. He has to admit that their helpless licking is pretty funny.

“You could try licking each other’s noses,” he suggests.

_But this is my frosting_, Eve says. _Azirafather gave it to me._

_It's mine_, Joshua agrees, before returning to fruitlessly attempting to lick his own nose.

“My darlings,” Aziraphale coos.

“I feel like we have to discuss something and I’m honestly not sure what, angel. Here.”

He reaches out and fishes Aziraphale’s handkerchief out of his pocket, then bends down and offers his hand to Eve. She gets his meaning before taking it, though, instead slithering over to the hand with the handkerchief and batting her nose against it.

_Oh! It’s stuck!_

_You’re a ghost now!_ Anthony cries, abandoning his own snack for the moment.

_...I am!_

Crowley obligingly lets go of the white cloth, and little squeals of delight fill his ears as Eve chases her siblings around the table, handkerchief draped around her and making little ghosty noises.

“Yeah, this is cute,” Crowley admits.


	4. On Eyelids

_Azirafather,_ Coco asks one day, _what’s that on your eyes?_

Aziraphale looks up, removing his glasses with a smile and offering them to the curious shoelace. “These are my reading glasses. Some humans need them to see better; I don’t, but I rather like the way I look in them, so I use them anyway.”

_Oh! You look very nice in them._

“Thank you, my darling.”

_...But I was talking about those,_ Coco goes on, stretching out just a little to point at Aziraphale’s face with her snout.

Aziraphale blinks. “About…?”

_There they go again!_

Aziraphale goes through several more rounds of bewildered blinking before he finally understands.

“Oh, you mean my eyelids!”

_Covers for eyes?_

“Yes! You see, human eyes get dry if you leave them uncovered for more than a few moments, so they have eyelids to make them wet again.” He blinks again to demonstrate.

Coco straightens up. _You don’t have any scales! So there’s no scale covering your eyes, so you use your… skin instead!_

Aziraphale beams. They are so clever, his children. “Exactly! Well done, my lovely Coco.”

_Can I have eyelids?_

Ah. He should have known this was coming.

“You don’t need eyelids, darling,” he explains. “You have that wonderful little transparent scale to protect your eyes, right?”

_Yes,_ Coco says. _But is it okay if I try eyelids? Just for a little while?_

“I don’t know if it’s safe to alter your body with miracles yet, dear.”

_You gave us all life. I’m sure you can give us all eyelids, too!_

Well, he can’t argue with that. Aziraphale sighs, though it’s more fond than exasperated. “Alright, then. But only until bedtime— and if you feel the least bit strange, you tell me right away, okay?”

_I promise!_

Aziraphale gathers his wits— Coco is right, after all, but he decides it’s worth at least worrying for a moment— and snaps his fingers.

Coco starts, and Aziraphale leans forward to examine her. She doesn’t seem harmed, but it’s difficult to tell…

_Oh!_ she cries. _You can barely notice it!_

“Ah.” Aziraphale laughs. “Yes, that is convenient, isn’t it? Otherwise I suspect we would get very distracted.”

Coco giggles, and shuts her eyes.

_Nighttime…_

She opens her eyes.

_Daytime!_

Aziraphale covers his mouth as Coco laughs and scoots off to find her siblings. He suspects he will have to endure choruses of reverse peekaboo for the rest of the day, but it is a small price to pay for the joy of hearing their subsequent laughter.

And anyway, Crowley will be delighted.


	5. QTs

_Fatherrrrrr!_

Crowley turns his head from where he lays on the couch: Scarlet happily wiggles up to him, tongue flicking, and with a smile he offers her an arm up.

“Hey, squirt.”

_I saw a cute snake, Father!_

Something in Crowley’s heart jumps. He’s already promised himself he wouldn’t get too worked up about his children growing up and interacting with other people, but apparently a part of him thought he’d have a little more time.

Well, he thinks, as Scarlet slithers up his arm, at least she seems eager to talk to him about it. That’s gotta be worth something.

“Oho,” he says, leaning his head forward to see eye-to-eye with her. “Who’s the lucky reptile?”

Scarlet pauses dramatically.

Then reaches forward to touch her nose to his.

_It’s you! You’re a cute snake, Father!_

Oh no. Crowley feels himself turn as red as his daughter’s belly, and then his own belly, because suddenly he is also a snake and Scarlet is giggling and poking his nose.

_Hee. It’s funny when you’re embarrassed, Father._

_You’re a devious one, you know that?_ Crowley flicks his tongue out, eliciting a squeal from his much smaller daughter. _But you know what that means, right? Since we’re basically identical, that means you’re a cute snake too._

_I am!_ Scarlet declares, slithering forward to drape herself across his nose. _We can be cute together, Father._


	6. The Fall

One day, Anthony falls off a chair.

It’s a complete accident, of course. One moment he’s trying to snatch his runaway pompom from the edge of the chair, and the next he’s tumbling over himself, squeaking in alarm and hitting the floor with a small ‘oof!’

Once he’s figured out up from down, Anthony rights himself and shakes his head to try and make himself less dizzy. He thinks he should be hurt, maybe, after all that excitement, but all he feels is a quickly-fading ache in the side he landed on. Maybe he’ll hurt later? That happens sometimes, when he doesn’t listen to Father and eats too many sweets. Not all hurts come quite when he thinks they should…

Anthony looks to the corner of the room where his fathers are. Azirafather peers at him over the top of a book, a snake on each shoulder, while Father is stretched out on the ground playing catch with Coco. They’re both smiling softly at Anthony, so he decides he must be okay after all.

Anthony wiggles happily, picking up his pompom and slithering off to his next adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just... really love the way babies think. Like when they don't know whether or not they're actually hurt so they look at their parents and only cry if their parents look concerned skdjfhskdf.


	7. Adventures in Object Permanence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world where Aziraphale didn't manage to create the snabies with all the knowledge they need to function as children, the new family learns a few lessons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Ked's fic, the snabies speak proper English and display a lot of intelligence. ...But sometimes I want to write about literal infants who speak in intelligible but maybe not necessarily correct sentences.
> 
> So here's a sniclet about the snabies' first lesson in Existing. XD

Playing with the children is always a delight. Today Crowley is bent over at eye-level with them on the desk, happily watching them slither up to try and cuddle his face.

“Father! I love you!”

“You're so soft!”

He smiles, retreating just a bit, and covers his face with his hands.

Most beings can't see when their hands are over their eyes, but fortunately Crowley is not most beings: he watches as his five children start in surprise, swiveling their heads to look around the room.

“Father?”

“Where is Father?”

“Where did you go?”

He uncovers his face. “Peekaboo!”

The children let out five cries of surprise, slithering forward as one to press their noses to his cheeks.

“Father! You’re back!”

“You're magic!”

“Hi!”

Crowley laughs, delighted. “Hey, kiddos. How’re you doing?”

“So good!”

“We missed you!”

“We love you!”

“I love you too, kiddos,” Crowley tells them. ...And then hides his face again.

Once again, the startled children cast wild gazes around the room searching for him.

“Father!”

“You’re gone again!”

Crowley uncovers his face. “Peekaboo!”

The children laugh, and reach out to touch his nose. Crowley feels as though Aziraphale will scold him for this, but he can’t help it. He almost hopes they never grow out of this.

* * *

It’s less amusing when they’re not playing, though. The children fall asleep on the couch, so Aziraphale lays a blanket over them— something to keep them warm until they wake up, probably. But in the end it turns out they find it less than comforting.

“Where am I?!” a tiny, frightened voice cries out suddenly. Crowley looks up sleepily from his perch: he had also decided to take a small snake nap. “Where is everything?”

There’s a little jump beneath the blanket, and another voice joins in. “Everything is gone!”

“Fathers are dead!” a third voice cries, and that sets off a chorus of wailing and distressed calling for company.

It is just a little endearing how simple the children are, but even so Crowley will never not be moved by their obvious fear and distress. He abandons his perch, slithering over to the sofa and poking his head under the blanket.

“Shhhh,” he coos, his tongue flickering out to touch each of his frightened children in turn. “Everything is fine. I’m right here, see?”

“Father!”

“I don’t see you!”

“Is Azirafather dead?!”

“Where are we?”

Five little snakes hurriedly cuddle up against his head, eager to reassure themselves that he still exists, even if they cannot see him. Behind him a set of footsteps approaches: a terror born of love would be nearly impossible for an angel to miss.

“I’m here too, darlings,” Aziraphale says gently: light suddenly fills Crowley’s vision as the blanket lifts, the children looking up and slithering toward the angel.

“Azirafather!”

“We’re back at home!”

“It was so scary!”

“Oh, my little dears,” Aziraphale says. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you so.”

Five wide little gazes look up at him. “You took the world away?”

“I only hid it for a little while,” Aziraphale says. “I put this warm blanket over you, see?”

He lays the blanket down again, this time allowing the children to approach on their own time. Little Anthony, keen to keep his position as The Bravest Little Snake, hesitantly wiggles up to the blanket and sticks his head under it.

“Everything’s gone!” he cries, withdrawing his head quickly.

Crowley flicks his tongue out over his children again. “Y’see, kiddos, in this brand new world you’re in, things still exist even when you can’t see them. We never went away; you just couldn’t see us, because you couldn’t see through this blanket here.”

The children gasp. "Really?!"

Aziraphale reaches down and holds out his hands, allowing the children to crawl into them. “I didn’t mean to scare you all so badly. I’m so terribly sorry.”

“You weren’t dead?” Coco asks in a small voice.

“No, darling. We were both always here. We’ll always be here, even if you can’t see us.”

Joshua wiggles unhappily. “Promise?”

“I can prove it,” Crowley offers. “I’ll go—”

The children cry out as one, and immediately slither over to be as close to Crowley as possible.

“Okay, okay, some other time then,” he says hastily. “But yeah, if you’re ever frightened, just call for us and we’ll come snuggle you all better.”

“Promise,” Joshua repeats.

“Promise,” Aziraphale says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so behind on Wiggleverse news! I'm sorry everyone! I'll try to catch up c':


	8. Wow It's Azirafather But I'm Sneepy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTCQpjUrCe8) adorable video skdjfksjhf. Warning: snaby speak.

Aziraphale does not call out as he enters the bookshop, then quietly shuts the door behind him. Late nights haven’t been terribly unusual for him in the past, but now that he has children these outings must be planned carefully.

It appears he has not been quiet enough tonight, however.

“Azirafather!” a lovely, high-pitched voice calls out from the back room. There is another amused shushing noise, and then the voice tries again quieter: “Hi, Azirafather!”

Aziraphale smiles despite himself, making his way to the back room. “Hello Scarlet, darling. You’re up late.”

Crowley stands with Scarlet in hand and meets Aziraphale halfway, offering him their daughter. “Wanted to see you!” she exclaims in a hushed voice, sliding from Crowley’s hand to his. “I missed you, Azirafather!”

“I missed you too,” he says quietly. “But you can— oh dear.”

Scarlet had curled around his thumb in a full-body hug and instantly fell asleep, her body expanding minutely with the effort of drawing breath.

Crowley visibly tries to hold back a laugh. “She’s been doing that all night. She’ll probably wake up in a second.”

There’s probably no need for alarm, but Aziraphale frowns anyway. “Let’s put her back with the others. Maybe—”

Scarlet looks up suddenly from around Aziraphale’s thumb. “Nooooo! Wanna see Azirafather! I love you and wanna talk…”

“I know, my dear," Aziraphale says softly. “I like talking to you, too. Scarlet?”

Scarlet’s little head shoots up again. “I’m wake! Promise!”

“You’ve worked very hard to stay awake for so long,” Aziraphale tells her. “Isn’t that right, Crowley?”

“You sure did, kiddo.”

“I can see you’re very tired— ah, I think…”

He’s right. Scarlet’s head slowly droops as they speak, until her breathing returns to the slow, even pace of a snake asleep.

Crowley covers his mouth with a hand. Aziraphale giggles openly. He shouldn’t, but oh…

He slowly moves toward the habitat. Crowley, taking the hint, carefully leads the way, silently opening the hatch to the children’s habitat.

They’re not quite fast enough. Scarlet’s head jerks up one more time.

“Noooooo. I love you. Don’t wanna sleep.”

“I’ll still be here in the morning,” Aziraphale promises. “I’m sure your siblings will be jealous when they hear you got to see me before bed.”

“Noooo,” Scarlet whines, slithering off Aziraphale’s hand into the habitat. “Want Azirafather. Want snuggles.”

“You can snuggle the others while you sleep,” Crowley says.

“Nooooooo,” Scarlet says, vanishing into the hideaway the children sleep in.

Aziraphale’s cheeks hurt with the force of his smile. “Good night, Scarlet.”


End file.
